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Do I Have To Give Up Me
To Be Loved By You?

Jordan Paul, Ph.D.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

"This book is built around the concept of courageous honesty and the psychological insight that, in order to feel close, partners need to tell one another the truth about what they are thinking and feeling.  The peace that a couple buys by avoiding difficult issues can eventually destroy the relationship they hope to protect. This book maps a path toward a respectful honesty.
— Dennis Rivers, M.A., author of "The Seven Challenges Workbook: A Guide to Cooperative Communication Skills"

"The most important, useful and powerful book I have read on couple therapy since Virginia Satirs Conjoint Family Therapy. One of the rare books that is both useful to the lay audience and indispensable for the clinician."
–Dennis Jaffe, Ph.D., author of "Healing From Within"

Publisher's Description: Arguing with your spouse about the checkbook? The in-laws? Kids' schedules? Couples think they fight about money, family issues, and time. But what are these conflicts really about? Family therapists Jordan Paul and Margaret Paul reveal how couple discord is often rooted in self-protection. Here, in their best-selling book, they help couples work through fears and false beliefs that block expression of loving feelings. The result? A freer, more joyful, and profoundly intimate relationship.  

Amazon review by Jeremy J. Shapiro:  For me this book is one of the most profound and important books I have ever read about relationships and communication. Although it is written as a book about marital relationships, it has implications for every kind of relationship, and not only intimate or dyadic ones. And, although it is written as a pop psychology book, I think it makes a real contribution to the social-scientific understanding of relationships and communication — that is, it stands up well as a general model of communication and relationship. I think it is a great book and would be of great value not only to those trying to solve relationship problems but to those wanting to understand the ways in which self and relationship are intertwined in general. It illuminates all of the areas of one's life in which one communicates with others and, as another reader said, can be as valuable for understanding past relationships as for dealing with present ones.

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